Journals4
Newest
~Pride Meme~
6 min read
I know I don't post or update the journal anymore but I'm doing this one just to proclaim what a queer I am~
1. what’s your gender?
the fuck's a gender? (agender lol)
2. what are your pronouns?
They/them pronouns! I won't correct he/him for first impressions though.
3. is your family accepting?
Ehh...yes and no. They're not constantly Bible-thumping (most of them, anyway), but they're not super into Pride and queer stuff. My ultra religious grandma is not about it at all, but my aunt was super duper supportive - as in, she took it well and didn't try to tell me I'm not asexual - so...really mixed bag. I'm not out to the majority of them about being agender. Coming out as ace has been enough of a headache.
4. what do you wish you could tell your past self?
"Listen here you dumb bitch, the reason you break up with your boyfriends after like two months is because you're fucking aromantic. Stop going out with alloromantics. It only ends badly."
5. what is your sexuality?
Asexual!
6. favorite color
Purple. Which...may or may not be because of my Pride flag.
7. sun gay or moon gay?
Definitely a moon gay.
8. when did you find out your sexuality?
I saw the term demisexual in a Tumblr bio and didn't know what it meant. I googled it, came across AVEN, and the truth was revealed to me. I ID'd as demi and then grey before accepting I'm just fully ace.
9. how was your day?
Not bad, actually. Thanks for asking!
10. do you have any gay friends?
I do have several not-straight friends! I think they're actually beginning to outnumber the straight ones. Thank fuck lmao
11. what’s your favorite hobby?
My current hyperfixation is sewing, but otherwise I love general crafting, playing video games, and writing.
My current hyperfixation is sewing, but otherwise I love general crafting, playing video games, and writing.
12. who’s the best gay icon in your opinion
I instinctively thought John Mullaney lmao
Probably Chelsea Manning actually, she fuckin' slays.
Probably Chelsea Manning actually, she fuckin' slays.
13. which pride flags do you like the most design/color wise?
I love the aromantic flag colors, the version with the green and red. Also love my ace colors!
14. are you openly out?
Oh god yeah, at this point I have to be
My work has been really cool about it!
My work has been really cool about it!
15. are you comfortable with yourself?
Generally, yeah. I want a top surgery at some point, but I don't get dysphoria as bad as I used to.
16. bottom or top?
Bottom bunk. I can hang up blankets and make myself a little tent.
17. femme or butch?
Futch tbh
18. do you bind?
If I have to! I have a nice binder for just such an occasion. Like I said, though, I don't get dysphoric as much as I used to. Maybe because I gained a little weight? Who knows man.
19. do you shave?
Semi-regularly. Mostly my armpits and, y'know, landscaping. I don't shave my legs often bc the skin itches to the point where I rake off patches of skin. So I avoid that.
20. if you could date anyone you wanted, who would it be?
BUCKLE UP FOR MY DREAM SHIPS NERDS
1. I'd want to be the ace third in a poly relationship consisting of a bi person and pan person. At least one of these people has to be feminine presenting.
2. A tall, slender, good-looking boy. Probably blond hair. Very cool and collected with good, quiet humor and a kind heart. Doesn't pressure me into anything, doesn't expect anything. We have an apartment with a lot of succulents. He wears plaid flannel that I steal sometimes.
3. A tall, built, possibly chubby butch girl. She has a loud, hearty laugh that crinkles her whole face. She's a pretty good cook. She's outdoorsy and I'm not, but I go on hikes to humor her. She doesn't mind me being asexual. She wears a LOT of plaid flannel that I steal sometimes.
4. Honestly I'd love to be the beard for a rich closeted gay guy who has to stay closeted for safety reasons so we can pretend to be married and he can keep seeing his boyfriend. Gotta be rich, though. Or if I'm rich. But a looooot of money would have to be involved for me to marry anyone.
5. Chris Pine
1. I'd want to be the ace third in a poly relationship consisting of a bi person and pan person. At least one of these people has to be feminine presenting.
2. A tall, slender, good-looking boy. Probably blond hair. Very cool and collected with good, quiet humor and a kind heart. Doesn't pressure me into anything, doesn't expect anything. We have an apartment with a lot of succulents. He wears plaid flannel that I steal sometimes.
3. A tall, built, possibly chubby butch girl. She has a loud, hearty laugh that crinkles her whole face. She's a pretty good cook. She's outdoorsy and I'm not, but I go on hikes to humor her. She doesn't mind me being asexual. She wears a LOT of plaid flannel that I steal sometimes.
4. Honestly I'd love to be the beard for a rich closeted gay guy who has to stay closeted for safety reasons so we can pretend to be married and he can keep seeing his boyfriend. Gotta be rich, though. Or if I'm rich. But a looooot of money would have to be involved for me to marry anyone.
5. Chris Pine
21. do you have a partner (s)?
Nope!
22. describe your partner (s)?
Nonexistent.
23. have you ever dated anyone of the same sex?
Nope, I've only dated cis men.
24. anyone of another sex?
I'm agender so like. But I haven't dated any girls yet.
25. pastel gay or goth gay
Totally pastel gay.
26. favorite dad in dream daddies?
I haven't played it yet but I like the goth/vampire one.
27. tell me a random fact about yourself?
I've been working on the same 5-novel series for a fucking decade (since 2008).
28. do you own any pride flags/merch?
NOT AS MUCH AS I WANT!!! I have some flag buttons and a they/them pin but that's it.
29. have you ever been to a pride parade?
Yeah! And honestly I like it more than Pride Fest. The festivals here are just a bunch of drunk white people and insurance kiosks lining the closed-off street.
30. any advice to someone who isn’t out or who are exploring themselves?
Take your time. Listen to what feels right. And don't be afraid to change your label! I did it multiple times! Also, try to connect with other people in the community so you'll have a support group. And learn your history, and be proud of yourself no matter what you settle on!
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Homestuck
1 min read
www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6
DON'T THINK JUST DO IT
www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6
dONT THINK JUST DO IT,
www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6
Don't thiink ju2t do iit
www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6
DoN't ThInK jUsT dO iT
www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6
Dont Think Just Do It
www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6
d0nt think just d0 it
www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6
((This has been a productive use of journal space.))
DON'T THINK JUST DO IT
www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6
dONT THINK JUST DO IT,
www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6
Don't thiink ju2t do iit
www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6
DoN't ThInK jUsT dO iT
www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6
Dont Think Just Do It
www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6
d0nt think just d0 it
www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6
((This has been a productive use of journal space.))
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Here's a top-of-my-head list on why life pisses me off sometimes.
1. I must correctly capitalize all words in my title!
2. People can't take hints.
3. People can't get over themselves.
4. People are angstwhores.
5. People
6. Men
7. Ex boyfriends
8. Phones that have unlimited texts
9. The fact that the computer doesn't automatically capitalize words at the beginning of a sentence.
10. My new braces
Okay, so you get what the journal is eventually gonna be about, but let me vent first. SRSLYGAIZ, my new braces suck BALLS. If anyone has ever had impacted teeth, perhaps you've had to have large square pieces of wire sticking down to pull them forward? Well, I do. And not only does it hurt, but it' so hideous. Now, I'm not normally one to be vain, but c'mon. Also, the computer doesn't automatically capitalize words at the beginning of a sentence like my cell phone does, which I've been writing a lot of fanfiction on lately, so I'm used to that.
ANYWHO, Dante's killing me again. That bugger wanted to go back out. Asked me straight out; more like begged. In a lot prettier language and more texts, I said HELL TO THE NO. I am currently fuming as I write this, hoping I'm not gonna wake up and get a call that he's actually killed himself this time. Now, this topic tears me. On the one hand, it's not my freakin' problem anymore, so why should I care? On the other, I would feel a tad responsible. I dunno... But what I do know is that he's being an angsty jerk and I'm tired of his crap. I told him flat-out that I'm a loner, I like being alone, being alone makes me happy, and no one was gonna change that. He got all short and pissy with me and didn't text back to my closing. Said he wanted me to kill him...much as I wanna do that, I would be too suspicious. I mean, seriously. I've been sympathetic and patient bordering three months after our breakup. But hopefully he's got that I don't love him this time around and he's gonna quit pestering me and get over himself and me and not kill himself. I don't think he will; at least I hope not; he does this sometimes and he was really upset when he knew I was pissed at him for his last stunt with the train.
HEY GUYS, REPLY TO THIS, I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO ABOUT THIS BESIDES SAVVYOBESSION. Not that I don't love ya, girl, BUT I NEED A FRESH INSIGHT INTO THIS. AM I BEING A BETCH? IS HE BEING A DICK? ARE WE BOTH STUPID JERKFACES?
TELL ME.
1. I must correctly capitalize all words in my title!
2. People can't take hints.
3. People can't get over themselves.
4. People are angstwhores.
5. People
6. Men
7. Ex boyfriends
8. Phones that have unlimited texts
9. The fact that the computer doesn't automatically capitalize words at the beginning of a sentence.
10. My new braces
Okay, so you get what the journal is eventually gonna be about, but let me vent first. SRSLYGAIZ, my new braces suck BALLS. If anyone has ever had impacted teeth, perhaps you've had to have large square pieces of wire sticking down to pull them forward? Well, I do. And not only does it hurt, but it' so hideous. Now, I'm not normally one to be vain, but c'mon. Also, the computer doesn't automatically capitalize words at the beginning of a sentence like my cell phone does, which I've been writing a lot of fanfiction on lately, so I'm used to that.
ANYWHO, Dante's killing me again. That bugger wanted to go back out. Asked me straight out; more like begged. In a lot prettier language and more texts, I said HELL TO THE NO. I am currently fuming as I write this, hoping I'm not gonna wake up and get a call that he's actually killed himself this time. Now, this topic tears me. On the one hand, it's not my freakin' problem anymore, so why should I care? On the other, I would feel a tad responsible. I dunno... But what I do know is that he's being an angsty jerk and I'm tired of his crap. I told him flat-out that I'm a loner, I like being alone, being alone makes me happy, and no one was gonna change that. He got all short and pissy with me and didn't text back to my closing. Said he wanted me to kill him...much as I wanna do that, I would be too suspicious. I mean, seriously. I've been sympathetic and patient bordering three months after our breakup. But hopefully he's got that I don't love him this time around and he's gonna quit pestering me and get over himself and me and not kill himself. I don't think he will; at least I hope not; he does this sometimes and he was really upset when he knew I was pissed at him for his last stunt with the train.
HEY GUYS, REPLY TO THIS, I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO ABOUT THIS BESIDES SAVVYOBESSION. Not that I don't love ya, girl, BUT I NEED A FRESH INSIGHT INTO THIS. AM I BEING A BETCH? IS HE BEING A DICK? ARE WE BOTH STUPID JERKFACES?
TELL ME.
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Now I Get Why People are Anti-Love. :|
5 min read
It's because the opposite sex is a complete...cheezits, I can't even type what they are! They're assholes, pardon my French, and frankly I'm sick of mens' crap.
Okay, so this is partially my fault. I'm the first one not to deny that. But this guy (we'll call him...Dante. For irony, you know.) is my ex, and HOT MUFFINS, he just WON'T LET IT GO! OKAY, to put it on the table, he's OLDER than me. A LOT OLDER. STFU, I don't wanna hear the crap about age difference. Anyway, he's being an angstwhore, and I really don't want to be mean like this. He's one of my best friends and I've put him through a lot, but frankly I'm out of sympathy.
Now, Dante's had a hard romantic life. I won't go into detail, since it's very personal, and believe me, I understand. BUT HE NEEDS TO LET ME GO. I'm tired of feeling bad for what I did. I've told that bloody jerk to hate me and get it over with, but he won't. He won't get over me, he does stupid sh!t to make himself feel better (IE HIS STUPID FIGHT CLUB) and it's dangerous and I'd feel bad if he got hurt doing it.
On a different, but related note, SavvyObession's mother telling her she couldn't text Dante made him go temporarily suicidal. I talked him out of it (hot muffins, picture that crap) but he's still been upset about it. Now, it's my fault Savvy had anything to do with it, and I'm dealing with the consequences of putting her through it, and I accept that. Me giving Dante Savvy's number was stupid and I regret the pain it's caused both of them. But the whole reason we got started on this stupid conversation was because I mentioned I was talking to Savvy and he got all upset. I tried to make him feel better. BIG MISTAKE. Then I asked him to elaborate on one of his "What is it? Nothing."s BIGGER MISTAKE. EPIC MISTAKE. EPIC FAIL ON A LOG.
IDK, maybe I'm being a cold-hearted bitch. Actually, I know I am. I have a habit of speaking incredibly proper when I'm pissed or chagrined, and boy, there was a lot of Shakespeare in them texts. I told Dante I wasn't planning on hanging around Illinois forever, that I had things to do in life, and hot muffins, he was pissed! SRSLY. LOOK AT THIS CRAP.
Me: ...Just the experiences uve given be will b helpful in the future when i get my own life.
Dante: Get ur own life?
Me: Yeah. Im not stayin here 4ever. Ive got thing 2 do b4 i die. N dats gona require me leavng da nest...prolly as soon as i hav enuff $ 2 leave home.
Dante: Wher u plan on goin?
Me: New York, Virginia, Hollywood, London, Paris, Tokyo...anywhere I want.
Dante: Tears! Real tears
Me: Im sorry dat makes u upset. Did u think i was gonna stay here all my life?
And he went on to say that he assumed, if we were still together, that he would travel with me. Then he said he needed to go, and I, being a good sport said goodnight. Then he went on a wangst of OMG DID U RLY EVEN LOVE ME BC U GOT OVER ME SO FAST! I explained that I was used to it because I move a lot. He was was...disgruntled, so I said I was cold-hearted, to which he put a big, "So it wud seem! Gud nite".
And crap, I just realized what his "i feel the need 2 destroy sumthin beautiful" comment meant; for his last birthday I made him a burned wood carving of a sword with kanji and his family crest on it...If he breaks that I'll be seriously ticked! Well, I'd understand, but still!
So...I'll keep you updated...Now that I have seven hours to sleep...Just pray he doesn't kill himself. I'll feel real bad if he does.
QOTD:
"STFU KOVU, LOVE IS WRONG AND IT ALWAYS DIES. D:<" -Me
AND
"Dang...looks like Garet's gonna grow up to be the quarterback-soloist with all the girls and even more the favorite while I'm DA-commissioning my way through college with a minimum-wage job and a beat-up old junker." -Me, when I heard Garet can sing, apparently better than I can.
"...You're living alone, drawing for a living and staying up late to finish on your tablet, having an unhealthy addiction to some sort of caffine stimulant and having a crappy-but-customized car? Hot muffins, you may not be invited to the family reunion, but you'll be livin' your dream!!" -Me, when I reread the last part.
AND
"This is madness!" -Me
"No, this is---" -Sara
"THIS IS HIGH SCHOOL!" -Me and Sara. THIS IS THE MOST EPIC QUOTE EVAR. DEAL WITH IT.
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